addenda

p.s. when i first arrived here, it seemed so nice and cool in comparison to virginia. i internally smirked every time i heard someone complaining about the heat. i thought to myself,"these people would never survive in virginia." hahahaha. and then i got on the tube and almost died from sweating. and then i went to the craftacular which was about 90 degrees and NOT air conditioned and almost died from sweating. spotting a trend? it may be hotter in virginia, but thank god we're ready for it because london, my friends, is NOT.

p.p.s. i haven't fallen yet.

p.p.p.s. i ate delicious frozen yogurt called snog. it's sweetened with agave nectar and topped with fresh raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, and chocolate shavings. i don't remember london having such good food before.

p.p.p.p.s. this iphone has saved my life a gazillion times over already. i love you, my little magic machine.

london calling

so, i've been in london for about 36 hours, and in typical jessica fashion, i have exhausted myself trying to cram as much in as is humanly possible. because for some reason, i seem to think that i'm leaving, like, tomorrow or something? really i think it's because i like to visit everything once, surveying the scene, and then i return to make 'important' decisions. by important i mean,"what should i buy?" the problem with this plan is that i've already run myself a little ragged, a lot ragged really. and the real work hasn't even begun!

after arriving at heathrow at 10:00, i made my way to my tiny studio by about 1:00. and then:


i ventured out to the bust craftacular, where i met gemma correll! sadly, her pug, mr. pickles, had been evicted, so i was unable to meet him. but i got some swag...and then, on to liberty of london.


i want to live here, really. correspondence and confections? i love it.


at a certain point, i just had to leave because i couldn't take it any more. i knew that there was serious danger of me spending every little penny i have in this emporium of mindblowing awesomeness. more on liberty later...i have a feeling i'll be back several times, by which i mean nearly every day. after escaping certain financial ruin, i wandered around carnaby street and the surrounding streets, and i found a muji, making this the third country in which i have patronized the store. this time i only bought a washcloth. clearly i was still coming down from my liberty high.


i also found a super cute baby super store called mamas and papas. it was about five gazillion times better than babies r us, and they sold cute onesies like this:


by now it was about 7:00, and a normal person might have gone home for the night, due to having been awake for approximately 30 hours straight. but lest you forget, i am a crazy person, and since the tate modern is open until 10:00 on saturdays, i trekked on over. and when i say trekked, i mean it, because after alighting at the southwark station, it felt like i walked twenty miles. this was, in part, because i was exhausted and also because my body was literally freaking out on me.


and because i am a RESPECTFUL museum-goer i have no fancy tate photos. seriously, i saw one kid just snapping FLASH PHOTOGRAPHS of PAINTINGS without even looking at the labels. and trust me, he had no idea what he was looking at. maybe when i return i'll get something better than this accidental photo. it kind of sums out how i felt when i was walking back to the tube. slightly crazed, with blurred vision, and in a state of transformation. i was about to fall apart. and i only saw half of the tate! back for sure, one of my favorite museums, as always.

on my way home i stopped at the grocery to get some crucial items: bread, cheese, water, and hoegaarden. and then i collapsed. in a heap.

calling cards to lift your spirits.

sometimes you're having a bad day or week or month or year, and shopping helps. today my shopping took me into the land of calling cards, which i've been meaning to obtain for awhile now. decisions, decisions. i haven't chosen my 'professional' ones yet, but i ordered up a small batch of these babies from rifle paper co. for friendly encounters.


can you guess which one i chose?

frightened rabbit

i love you.

i may have died in a landslide of rocks and hopes and fears.

inherited no. 7

a beatles themed birthday

(note amazing stenciled banner in background)

april is a rough month. i always find myself torn between being excited for spring and a little shaken up that another season is passing, already. april is also full of days that i rarely talk about anymore, at least not on the day itself, a month full of stewart births and deaths.

my grandaddy was born on april 16, 1916.

my father was born on april 12, 1946.

my father died on april 21, 1999.

this year april 21 passed, and on the day itself i didn't speak a word of it to anyone. i'm not very good at asking for what i need, especially when i don't even know what it is that i need.

this year my father would have been 64. i like to imagine his life before things went awry, before the little brother whose birthday he shared died and the world stopped, or at least that's how i imagine things. my father never uttered his brother's name to me, and it wasn't until he was gone that i could even begin to imagine what happened to the family living in the house at 931 montvue when keith stopped breathing, at three years old and having only ever learned to say my father's name. it breaks me to think of this family, my family. i like to imagine him like this, instead:


a chubby kid with a big smile, playing with trucks and trains and not yet marred by keith's death and his mother's alcoholism and vietnam's losses. this little tonka reminds me that, despite all this, he made me believe that his childhood was one adventure after another, whether it was treeing raccoons or boy scout camp or shooting cans at the farm.


still, i'd give anything in this world to be celebrating his birthday with him instead of with this tonka. i miss you.

is this really a lady gaga post?

love this version of lady gaga's "telephone."

venezia bound.

in about 48 hours i'll be on a plane to venice. i'm giving a paper on pollaiuolo's drawings, a paper that still needs some finishing touches. haha. perfect time to blog!

but right now i'm preparing to teach leonardo tomorrow and burning cds for aaron. (ciao, aacat!) as i put together my powerpoint (ugh) i am reminded of the ridiculously amazing parts of my job. you know, like going to venice. is this my life? do i write papers on pollaiuolo and teach leonardo? do i get to sit in front of drawings by leonardo and verrocchio? really?

tomorrow i'll be showing students details of this:


and even better, this:


has there ever been a more perfect representation of a cat in the clutches of a small child? as i zoom in on details of these works, i feel my eyes welling up, an immediate response in part to how ridiculously beautiful these works are but also to the fact that somehow my job is to talk about how ridiculously beautiful these works are. i often find myself faced with the problem of finding words to express what can't be said, how do you describe leonardo's pen on paper?

the thing is, i often feel like teaching is depressing, an uphill battle, a lost cause. but then, there are flickers of seeing a student love something as fiercely as i do, and there's the knowledge that this thing that they love, that they didn't know existed until today, i gave it to them. and i really, really want them to run with it.

so after i teach leonardo, i'll pack for venice, and i'll fly across the atlantic to read my paper in the city that floats, all while wearing a dress with turtles strewn across it. thanks, anthro, for that one. don't be fooled, i'm a nervous wreck. but in the back of my mind, i am comforted by the knowledge that somewhere out there, there are a few shadowy shades a la leonardo who couldn't be prouder of how ridiculous this life of mine is. thank you, gm, gd, and d. (and m.d., who just hit 98 lbs and is a little less shadowy.)